Bodhi Babes, Wonder Women - Caroline Lawton

louisehewison
Sep 1, 2014
6 min read

Caroline Lawton

Actress on stage, film, television and radio.

Caroline has a contagious and captivating, vibrant energy. She is the definition of Bodhi Babes ethos: Brave, Bold and Beautiful- both on stage and in life!

When you were a little girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?

When I was a little girl I wanted to be a tennis player. I begged my mom for lessons. I took lessons for 6 months and got my first tennis dress. (It was white with a watermelon on the front…and the matching knickers were red with black (seed) dots.) I promptly quit tennis. Then I wanted to be a ballerina. More than anything in the world. I begged my mom for ballet lessons and promptly got into a school, practicing my plies and my turn out. Six months later, we had our first recital. I was cast as a ruby, and my tutu was red with flashy rhinestones AND a matching headpiece!! I promptly quit ballet. By the time I decided I wanted to be an ice-skater or perhaps a cheerleader…my mom had figured out that she could spare herself the cost of the lessons and simply buy me the costume.

What do you do now? For work? For fun?

I am still a girl driven by costumes. I have worked for the last twenty years as an actress in stage, film, television, and radio. I’m getting ready to start rehearsals for a new play premiering at Boston Playwright’s Theatre called ‘Reconsidering Hanna(h)’. My creativity needs fuel, which I find in various places – baking elaborate desserts, getting out in nature, yoga, and crafts (give me glitter, glue, stickers and watch me turn back into a giddy 8 year old girl!)

How did you get into your area of expertise?

I think you are ‘called’ to the arts more than anything else. How did I pursue it? My parents – when faced with a 16 year old who had decided this was her career path – got on board. They said, “Well, let’s get you the best training you can get!” I auditioned and failed to get into three of my top four drama school choices. I trained at Penn State University (with other fabulous actors such as Keegan-Michael Key and Ty Burrell) and started out my career doing touring children’s theatre.

What obstacles have you faced in following your dreams and how have you overcome them?

I think the biggest challenge is keeping the heart engaged when so much of our career feels like it is about rejection. You put yourself out there in a very vulnerable and personal way, and constantly face someone saying, “hmmm…no thanks.” I hit a point in my career while I was living in New York City that I just couldn’t get cast to save my life. I found myself going to auditions and thinking, “Please, God, let me get this nasal spray ad!”….and then wondering: was that was truly my heart’s desire? How had I lost touch with what made me excited about my career? I met with a career coach, who, after going through my audition pieces, my interview technique and my self-marketing plan….diagnosed me with falling out of love with my career. Being an artist is about heart. It is about joyful abandon and vulnerability. And it is a precious balance to keep the heart open to play when you have suffered personal heartbreak, when you have had a series of rejections. You must find a way to engage with what feeds you. What inspires you. You would never think of going to the gym for weeks on end without ever putting fuel into your body. It is the same with the spirit. You must feed your spirit. You must feed the crazy little part of you that believes that you have something magic to share with the world. I ended up going to London on holiday and walked into The Globe – and saw a production of Romeo and Juliet (my least favourite of the canon) and got a jolt of inspiration: THIS is why I got into it in the first place! I started chasing that yummy feeling, and ended up going back to grad school in London to study Shakespeare. I wish I could say that it was all unicorns farting rainbows from that moment…but by the end of a year of grad school, I went into my final evaluation and told my tutors, through tears, that I had lost all hope and all connection to my art – that I was miserable and broken and was going to give it up.

Isn’t it funny, in retrospect, how the most heartbreaking moments are sometimes the most amazing gifts? In allowing the idea of truly giving up acting for the first time in my career, I was able to give up my strangle-hold on my NEED for it. (And with some distance from the school and a tutor who – in his quest to get me to work from a place of imbalance and unpredictability had systematically undermined all my confidence – I was able to see the inspiration from another tutor who gave me tremendous insight into my work and my ability to be a happy, balanced human being who offers my art from a place of wholeness and open-heartedness.) And from that place forward, I have been approaching my career with a sense of playfulness and ease.

All of this to say, overcoming obstacles – for me – has become much more about letting go. Letting go of the picture of how it is ‘supposed to look’. Letting go of the goal of pleasing others. Letting go of ‘getting it right’. Letting go of comparisons and timelines and other people’s ideas of success. Just relaxing into the discomfort – instead of raging against it – allows you to float back out of the quicksand.

What’s the best part of what you do?

Making people feel. We spend so much time thinking. Analyzing. Hiding from our emotions. My job is to be a conduit to people’s hearts. That is the most rewarding thing. Ever.

What advice do you have for other women who might want to follow suit?

There is only one YOU that has ever been born. That is enough. That means you have something universal and something completely unique to share. That gives you permission to be brave. Make mistakes! Fail gloriously! Take risks. Constantly learn new things that inspire you. If it inspires you ,even if it doesn’t directly feed your career path, it will feed your soul. And will make you a better actor.

What’s your morning routine? Keep it clean ;-)

Coffee. Everything else about the morning is pretty much a blur.

On your ‘to do’ list today?

Skype with a friend in London

See a reading of a new play.

What are you working on at the moment? Next project?

In a week I start rehearsals for a new play being produced at Boston Playwright’s Theatre called ‘Reconsidering Hanna(h)’. It is a four-hander with actors I greatly admire.

One woman you admire and why?

I have had many women who have been mentors and guides to me…teachers and friends and family who have guided my way. But one who stands out for me today is Mary Klug. You wouldn’t know her unless you were a Boston theatre person. But she has always been one of the kindest, most genuine, most generous actors and people I have ever had the good fortune to share the stage with. She has kept a balance of family and career throughout her life. She has a wicked sense of humour. She is sincerely curious about life and people. And while I’ve never met a person who doesn’t absolutely ADORE Mary Klug, she’s never spent her time trying to get people to like her. She just is honestly herself. And there is something inherently inspiring and humbling about being around someone like that.

Who do you turn to for advice?

My mother, Patty Lawton. Mostly because she listens carefully and encourages me to trust the answers of my own heart. She has instilled in me a trust in my intelligence, my ability and my heart. She is a champion of my dreams without trying to impose her own desires on me. It is the kind of friend I strive to be: one that gives insight to how I see someone’s heart leading them…and giving them the courage and faith to trust their own hearts.

Words for Monday motivation?

It is not the critic who counts. Not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause. Who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

-Theodore Roosevelt